Karen's Story
- Fostering Stories
- Tags: Fostering siblings , Fostering and ethnicity , Fostering babies
Karen and her partner James started fostering with an Independent Fostering Agency (IFA) in 2004 and in 2016 they transferred to foster with Liverpool.
"How can I help them"
Karen first considered fostering after meeting two girls who were in a children's home which she said, "melted my heart". Karen applied to foster and progressed fostering assessment, which she said she really enjoyed because it was a chance to discuss things with her partner, they had never thought about discussing before. Karen said "you'd look forward to them coming each week. It was quite cathartic!"
"They came for 4 weeks and stayed for 12 years"
Karen initially wanted to foster 'one little girl' and she was going to paint her room pink. "Everything was going to be Barbie and we were going to have the best time ever."
However, after hearing about three brothers - who were seven, eight and ten - and the experiences they'd been through, Karen met with them and after that, that was it. They went home with Karen the next day, and the room wasn't pink anymore!
"They're both in their 30s now. They work, they've got children of their own and they actually say to me, 'I don't know how you did it taking us three on'. But we had the best time, It was an education, because before coming to me they lived in bed and breakfasts and for two years they'd been homeless. They educated me in a sense. They were great"
Transferring to foster with Liverpool
"Once we had bit more experience, we got very disillusioned with the agency. I didn't feel they cared about us as foster carers, and they weren't interested in the children - in a sense that when you're with an agency, you have a supervising social worker, but the children's social worker is still with the Local Authority. So it's just you. I found myself a bit overwhelmed with the agency because I had a sibling group of three."
"They also asked me to take a second sibling group at the same time, which I did but I felt pressured to".
"When the boys were grown up and they'd left. We did go on to adopt a little girl from the second sibling group, but after this I found myself without a placement for about six months. I found out that Liverpool Council were desperate for foster carers, and I thought, well, where are mine? I've got empty bedrooms."
"We transferred to Liverpool and two sisters, and a brother arrived only a matter of days later, and that was eight years ago. And we've still got them now. They are 13, 14 and 15."
"Every day is different, but they're lovely children. I can't believe my luck because they are so nice. They are just typical teenagers, we've had them for eight years, so we've become like a family, we do everything together. I always say teenagers need us more than toddlers. They want to get out there and they want to crack on with the world, but actually they are always asking ‘Can you come with me? Can you help me?’.
We've had them for eight years, so we've become like a family, we do everything together.
~ Karen
Keeping siblings together
The longest relationships you have in life are with your siblings. I just feel it's so important and it's important for them, because they're their own little group. They support one another, they're there for one another, and they keep their history alive because the older ones tell the younger ones, 'oh, remember, we did this'.
What support do you get from your social worker?
Cheryl's great and we don't just chat about the children, we talk about everything. As soon as I message her, she's straight back to me and she's very knowledgeable. If I'm struggling with something or if something's bothering me, I can discuss it with Cheryl.
"My advice would be to do it"
"My advice would be to do it. I think if you're if you're thinking about it, then there's something telling you that you want to do it. After going on the first couple of training sessions with my partner, he said ‘I don't think I can do that.’ And there he is 20 years later, and I actually think he's better than I am at it!"
"As you get further into the process you become more invested because you realise you've lived this life and you've done things that will help you as a foster carer. You gain a greater understanding of the children who are going to live with you. I would definitely go ahead with it because at any point you can withdraw. After 20 years, I still really enjoy it."